In case you have not heard yet — and honestly, why in the name of Gozer WOULD you keep up with this stuff? — Russian “officials” are claiming to have captured a Yeti, a Russian Sasquatch. A Bigfootski. Read all about it HERE.
Or, even better, check out this video recording of a Russian TV news report (around the 30 second mark)…
Now, speaking for all of us here at the Tower, I’m gonna call shenanigans. I mean, it just LOOKS wrong. Not that I have ever seen a Russian Yeti, but I have seen a guy in a suit. And honestly, if you actually captured a Yeti — the scoop of the century — wouldn’t that be the FIRST thing you’d show on the news report?!?! Or at the very least, zoom in your camera to get a close up? Or at the very very VERY least shine a flashlight on it for a clearer view?
If you need more proof of wackiness, here is a follow-up video. Watch how it runs … totally looks like a drunk guy on Halloween night running from the cops. (WARNING — some graphic sheep guts are shown around the 48 second mark)
I FULLY expect to hear another story later today claiming that the Yeti has escaped from its cage, ensuring the world zero chance of a follow-up from CNN and AP. Although we may hear a story about Tom Biscardi buying a plane ticket to Russia. He’s the guy who brought us the “Bigfoot in a freezer” claim from 2008 — Mr “This-is-as-Real-as-You-are-Standing-There” in khaki pants.
And don’t forget, only a few months ago in October Russian officials hosted a Sasquatch summit where they took a team of international scientists on a Yeti-hunt in Siberia. It lead to a cave full of questionable evidence like a footprint or two and odd hair. While the Russians claimed it as 95% proof positive that Bigfoot exists, one of the scientists invited to witness all this — Dr. Jeff Meldrum —said the evidence looked staged.
So, I’m guessing this “news” story is simply the latest in Russia’s attempt to bring tourism dollars to the poorer rural corners of their nation.