Aberdeen Sea Monster: A Response From Our Foreign Correspondent!! | Tower of Technobabble

Aberdeen Sea Monster: A Response From Our Foreign Correspondent!!

From: Stephanie K.
Date: Wed, Jul 27, 2011 at 7:40 AM
Subject: Aberdeen Sea Monster
To: towergram@gmail.com

Hi guys,

It’s your overseas correspondent here with an update about the “Aberdeen sea monster” that washed up on shore in the UK a few weeks ago.

Sadly, like Bucky and Nessie I’m afraid that Deeny (or whatever you want to name it) is in fact not a sea creature from the deep but a whale.  Actually, a dolphin-whale.

The Natural History Museum sent out one of their guys to have a look at the carcass and they’re saying it looks to be a long finned pilot whale—or Globicephala Melas for all of you genus geeks out there.  And here’s a fun, useless fact to amaze your mates:  the long finned pilot whale, like its close relative the Orca is actually a species of dolphin.

I’ve had a look at the Wikipedia article on the long finned pilot whale and the skeleton does sort of resemble the washed up jellified mass found on the beach by Margaret and Nick.  And apparently it’s normal for the whales’ bodies to wash up on shore even after they’ve been dead for a long time because the tides and currents whip stuff around down there.

Personally, I think it’s all a cover-up by the government.  Or a weather balloon.



(PS:  For the record, Aberdeen is nowhere near London.  I’d appreciate it if you could reimburse the petrol costs for filling up my double-decker bus 15 times for the 20 hour round trip to and from Aberdeen.  Hey… double deckers have crappy gas mileage!)


Wow!! Thank you SO much, Stephanie. So sorry for the wild goose chase (whale chase). I’ll make sure that you receive adequate compensation along with your monthly per diem. Quite honestly, I’m guess I’m not really surprised by the outcome of your investigation, but I’m holding out for evidence that Deeny the pilot whale was filled with swamp gas. Thank you again for your extra effort to make sure that those of us across the pond are well informed.

-Kentucky Slim

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One Response to “Aberdeen Sea Monster: A Response From Our Foreign Correspondent!!”

  1. Ben says:

    OK … I’m just going to come out and say what everyone is thinking:

    Globicephala Melas? Seriously?

    They got to you Stephanie! How much are they paying you to spin this story?!? Huh? HOW MUCH?!?!?

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