Two Suns is No Big Deal on Tatooine … | Tower of Technobabble

Two Suns is No Big Deal on Tatooine …

Recent reports from the world of science and astronomy have suggested that the earth might soon temporarily have a “second sun,” when Betelgeuse, a dying star some 640 light years away (give or take), explodes into a supernova. This would cause the illusion of two suns in the sky simultaneously, the theory went.

Problem is, no one really knows when it might happen. Some scientists suggested it could happen this year … or possibly sometime in the next million years. Me, I’ve got my sunglasses at the ready. Just in case.

Interestingly, however, in China last week, well, a second sun was indeed visible. But it wasn’t Betelgeuse. Or at least that’s the thought. University of Illinois astronomer Jim Kaler, who poo-poo’d the Betelgeuse theory, said the double suns stem simply from a rare optical refraction. Basically, he called it a relatively simple, albeit rare, mirage.

OK, have all these so-called scientists not even seen “Star Wars”? Duh. Tatooine has two suns — sorry, had two suns before it was obliterated by the Death Star — and that didn’t stir any debate. It was a given. So what’s the big deal?

Some think a second sun might be an exploding star, or just a mirage.

But those of us in the know understand it just means it's time to lock down for the night and steer clear of the Sand People.

Granted, the doomsday theorists worry that a potential Betelgeuse blow-up could coincide with the Mayan calendar prediction of the earth’s demise, but scientists argue that 64 light years of distance probably protects us from that, meaning we’re probably in just as much danger from the aforementioned Death Star.

So what is this second sun, really? Is it truly just a refraction? A mirage caused by something in the atmosphere? Is it a doctored-video hoax?

Nah, it’s just Star Wars come to life. Relax, man. Buy a couple droids and chill out, the moisture harvest is near. And after the work is done, we’ll get some power converters and maybe bull’s-eye some womp rats. But don’t go out after the suns set … it’s too dangerous with all the Sand People around.

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